Baby + 200
The nice thing about being a baby - this requires some imagination - is that the froth which occupies adults has little or no bearing on day-to-day life.
Take this evening's news, and in particular a story on an apparent shortage of bananas about to test the world's mettle. I was not clear why there may be a shortage, but that seemed less important than the four minutes of assertions as to why this would be a major problem for humanity. The reporter was keen to observe that this shortage will have a big impact on Britain, where each of us consumes 80 bananas a year (an average, of course). To make matters worse, the poorest countries would be hit hard by the loss in production caused by the mysterious source of the shortage, thing, phenomenon, er...
Had the reporter polled the world's babies I suspect she would have received the simple response that they would be quite happy with a pear or apple, and thus any shortage was immaterial. Economists would call these items of fruit substitutes, and possibly pointed out that a shortage would lead to higher prices, which could be good for producing countries (assuming the intermediaries didn't siphon profits from growers). Either way, a panel of economists and babies would have rightly put this alarmist news into a proper perspective.
I have a more basic dislike of bananas which stems from an assessment of their ability to produce very smelly baby pooh. Apples do not do this, nor do pears.
Newsnight (www.bbc.co.uk/newsnight) is running a very interesting series at the moment called Ethical Man. Being an impressionable soul, I crawled into bed after the 15 May edition, in which Justin Rowlatt and family got rid of their car, and suggested to Mrs M that we might consider relinquishing our family estate. After all, we live in Central London, and we use the car rarely.
There are some things it is better to regret before it is impossible to lose any discretion over this emotion. I felt, and still feel, I raised the issue in a sensitive and considerate manner. However, it is unlikely I shall be able to tell you, my reader, that we will soon end our affair with the internal combustion engine. I shall, however, consult my daughter. I suspect she cannot be anything other than an ally on this issue. If not, I'll look for an amenable economist.
Take this evening's news, and in particular a story on an apparent shortage of bananas about to test the world's mettle. I was not clear why there may be a shortage, but that seemed less important than the four minutes of assertions as to why this would be a major problem for humanity. The reporter was keen to observe that this shortage will have a big impact on Britain, where each of us consumes 80 bananas a year (an average, of course). To make matters worse, the poorest countries would be hit hard by the loss in production caused by the mysterious source of the shortage, thing, phenomenon, er...
Had the reporter polled the world's babies I suspect she would have received the simple response that they would be quite happy with a pear or apple, and thus any shortage was immaterial. Economists would call these items of fruit substitutes, and possibly pointed out that a shortage would lead to higher prices, which could be good for producing countries (assuming the intermediaries didn't siphon profits from growers). Either way, a panel of economists and babies would have rightly put this alarmist news into a proper perspective.
I have a more basic dislike of bananas which stems from an assessment of their ability to produce very smelly baby pooh. Apples do not do this, nor do pears.
Newsnight (www.bbc.co.uk/newsnight) is running a very interesting series at the moment called Ethical Man. Being an impressionable soul, I crawled into bed after the 15 May edition, in which Justin Rowlatt and family got rid of their car, and suggested to Mrs M that we might consider relinquishing our family estate. After all, we live in Central London, and we use the car rarely.
There are some things it is better to regret before it is impossible to lose any discretion over this emotion. I felt, and still feel, I raised the issue in a sensitive and considerate manner. However, it is unlikely I shall be able to tell you, my reader, that we will soon end our affair with the internal combustion engine. I shall, however, consult my daughter. I suspect she cannot be anything other than an ally on this issue. If not, I'll look for an amenable economist.
posted by Jonathan McMahon at 9:23 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home