Baby - 21

Junior is 4/5 engaged, meaning it is ready to drop (cue the Dambusters theme). Alas, it may be another five weeks before it opts to leave the security of the womb. But with only a few millimeters of skin between it and us it is now a quite visible (and for my wife, tactile) part of the family.

The baby equipment build-up continues. I am particularly fond of the talking duck that sits on top of the chest of drawers in junior's room. I understand it and it understands me.

Current pre-baby reading is French philosophy, or rather philosophy from a Frenchman: Andre Comte-Sponville's A Short Treatise on the Great Virtues. An attractive, thought-provoking work that seeks to suggest that there are values universal to mankind around which it makes sense to organise life. This is a good autumn read.

Baby - 32

A significant day: Mrs Wife has taken my mobile number. Strange, you might think, that she should not have this number already. Well, problem solved, and I shall clutch my phone as I wait for THAT call.

Scientists have decided that they can control mosquitos if they take out the male of that species. How to do this? Simple: colour code the gonads, catch those whose balls shine at night, and sterilise the rotters. Genius, and one supposes a technology with wider applications. More at:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,,1588449,00.html

I have been asked why this blog is called Snottie's Nurse. A Snottie was a new midshipman, and the term reflects the immaturity of the boys who occupied this part of the ship (there being an apparent link between youth and the dryness of one's nose). The officer in charge of these recruits was known as Snottie's Nurse.

Baby - 36

Quite rightly, lots has been written about the late Ronnie Barker's talents. His passing is a reminder of happy evenings watching the Two Ronnies as child with my parents and sister. The BBC obituary contains some links to clips of his performances:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/tv_and_radio/473779.stm

I am starting to question my complete lack of preparation for the arrival of the baby. I have never changed a nappy. I have never fed a baby. I have never bathed a baby. Yet I have not been asked to sit an examination for fatherhood. I have not had to answer questions in an interview. Should I find this odd? I do.

Baby - 38

A good article from Simon Jenkins in the Guardian which sums up why the Conservative Party leadership election is so baffling:

http://politics.guardian.co.uk/toryleader/comment/0,16473,1585147,00.html

Apparently being born into a lone parent family is a virtue in its own right; and for David Cameron, being born into a family that could afford to send to him Eton is a disadvantage. Quite why anyone should suppose this matters escapes me.

The fact that we have a Maclaren pram for junior is, I am told by colleagues, suggestive of something, although of what I do not know. Whether it would help me were I standing for election in Blackpool is moot, but it would clearly be a relevant factor for some.

An important consideration for any father should be the sporting education of his offspring. So will baby be born in a Red Sox, White Sox, Yankees, Cardinals, Astros, Padres, Angels or Braves?

Alien lump expands

Baby - 41

Back from San Francisco this afternoon (or this morning as far as my body is concerned) to find the alien lump is occupying more of the earth's available space. It is remarkable to see this change in the space of nine days.

The back room is starting to look like the Normandy beachhead. In addition to a decent stock of fetching babyclothes, we are now the proud owners of a flash pushchair/stroller. With a car, motorbike, three bicycles, and various London Transport tickets and passes we are ultra-mobile.

I have been scouring the web for sites on daddyhood. There are not many, or at least not many worth much time. This is poor, particularly given the amount of good, informative material available for women.

Robin of Sherwood is on ITV3. Clannad. Ray Winstone. Sadistic Normans. Where else could one find such a combination in modern television?

For those of you planning Christmas, some bad news about hold-ups to deliveries at http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050929/ap_on_fe_st/santa_compensated